How to be a Legend

People say so many things that are pointless babble that chances are we’ve not even noticed how stupid some of these sentences are.
I have though because I’m a legend.
Things like
“it’s always the last place you look”
Obviously.
“She’s a wh*re because …”
She’s a woman. (Heh)

I reckon the business world is one of these and have a couple of pet peeves that often crop up.
Like when they talk about something and say “Going forward…blah blah babble”. Can anyone else offer a genuine alternative to going forward in time? Anyone? Bueller?Beuller?

The other is when people phone up to report a fault and say the amazing
“It was working fine yesterday”
… and?.
What exactly is the relevance of that statement can I ask? Are you implying nothing has even broken in your life? Have you not made the link that for something to even be considered broken there must have actually have been a stage at which it was working fine from which to reference that to?

Dunno what to tell you mate, entropys a hell of a thing…

Feel free to add your own