How to be a Legend

This one contains some swearing. I’ve starred it out in the knowledge it makes absolutely no difference to your reading but will fool your work I.t. sweeper so you can read this unafraid.

There’s a guy at my work and he quite clearly hates his job. Admittedly he does work with some of the most technically inept people ever. This causes him to unleash the fury now and again. He does this by hitting the mute key on the phone so they can’t hear him and saying what’s really on his mind.

Since he also has a “list of people who are bad to him” and spends a lot of time surfing weapons I’m not convinced how much longer that will be the case.
In the mean (unbloodshedding) time, enjoy the following statements:

You don’t need to understand just do as you’re f*cking told

You don’t know what microsoft word is? You should be shot!

You total vegetable!

This is hard f*cking work, guys a total mudblood!

Aw you’re so f*ckin thick man.

I’m not going to bore you by explaining it.

Wait a minute, how am I wrong I’m making a suggestion!

To his gf who called “right why are you phoning me?”

Also regarding his gf “I was right to tell her to start going to the gym though”

And finally without being on mute,speaking to someone who had him on speakerphone after he’d told them they should be backing up and they complained he embaressed them in front of the customer

“I can’t believe you’d be so stupid though”