How to be a Legend

Was heading down on a pretty long train Manchester to Edinburgh and spotted this unusual looking girl.
She was very young, traveling on her own,dressed “young” and practically round. I didn’t pay too much attention though since at that time I wasn’t REALLY tired or bored.

By happy happenstance (for you anyway), she ended up seated to the right of me and also a rail got broken and added an extra 85 minutes onto my journey which resulted in various texts being sent out. I’ve collated them here along with thoughts at the time in what I’d call something of a wildlife diary type thing.

“Am okay, watching American Dad on laptop. There’s a like, dunno, 14 year old next to me and she’s like so f*cking fat. It’s unbelievable she’s got like normal legs and there’s this huge huge belly and she’s got those arms that make them look like midgets cos they’re so pudgy*

“Train delayed an hour due to rail broken, they came on to tell us be another 30 minutes from the 30 minutes we’ve waited so far.
There was a midway one where they basically said “still like we said earlier”. Think monotone voice guy has delusions of showbiz. They’re clamping it then going over, possibly high speed for the lulz.  Fat Girl seems pouty about this, possibly not enough food to last”

“reading harry potter now. Trying to figure out how fat Fat Girl is. She’s definitely well fat but it’s a weird kind of fat. She can cross her logs yoga style and she’s been showing a fair bit of dexterity and agility with jumping about for her bag and not wheezing that I could hear. ”

“Fat Girl pees a lot despite not drinking anything, I suspect diabetes. Had a massive cookie too, looked good though.She ate it with a mixture of enjoyment and shame”

“She’s got a well small face jnowot I think it is ,  reckon she’s meant to be quite thin and stuff, and she’s beaten the odds by beasting into the custard f*cking creams like a hungry leper so now her bodys not got a f*cking clue what’s going on so is like I’ll just put it on her gut and give her some extra face at the sides”

“She’s wee. Maybe she’s a midget. Or a dwarf. They get weird shapes like that sometimes.”

The Mystery will never be solved I wager.