How to be a Legend

Your Legendness,

I’ve been seeing a guy for about a month now. We’re both out of longish relationships in the last 6 months or so.  We’ve been dating every so often and also chatting every night.  He gets a bit vague whenever I mention anything non friendy too much (sweet luvin’s type things) or where it’s going etc. We had kinda said see how it goes and be careful though due to the previous.  I’m just wondering how to move this forward or see where I stand?

The Cheerleader
(Rah Rah Rah!)

Hello Cheerleader and thank you for your excellent (and reasonably common) question.

While I appreciate that people have long relationships and this affects them from moving forward etc and makes them want to take it slow the fact is that there’s not really any good way to make emotions go slow. You can make choices to ry and override them (e.g. not having sex for example) but you can’t actually change the basic feelings. 

I’m assuming also that this guy isn’t doing the old “Trying to score while giving it the not ready but seeing other people” type move and that you know he’s not wh*ring it up. That being said the best thing to do is ask rather simply. Okay you’re seeing how it goes. It’s been every night for a month though, you’ve seen. Where has it went and where’s it going from here?. If it’s the case that you want it to go forward and he doesn’t then you need to just say your goodbyes until you are aligned otherwise you’re wasting your time and giving yourself heartache. Always be able to walk away and it helps you keep the right choices.

Yep you might not get the answer you want and that’s sad but it’s better than not knowing. You might get together and it messes up but that happens to. Always go for what you want, not what you think you can get and never settle for an unknown when there doesn’t need to be.  You can always pistolwhip him.

M