How to be a Legend

This is a text back and forth with one of my mates, she’s a lot nicer than me and actually just doesn’t get some of my stuff because she is not quite as morally bereft humor wise as me.

I do it for The Lulz.

Bardot: I hate casualty

Malk: The Program or did you have an accident?

Bardot: The Programme! Lol, it was so horrible! Xx

Malk: What happened ? .

Bardot: A Baby died. Me, mum and my sister were all crying ! L Xx

Malk: I wouldn’t care, I’d be thinking “wooo narrow save there”

Bardot: Huh? What does that mean? Lol Xx

Malk: Avoided having to look after it etc. Back to easy living x

Bardot: Omg, that is nasty! Xx

Malk:. Why?? is like last minute abortion win x

Bardot: That’s not very funny

Malk: Ah it’s not bad, not like I said could make a sammich out of it

Bardot: What?

Malk: Shishkababy!

Bardot: What are you on about?

I changed the subject there, I reckon she’d just have got upset. That’s showing Tact there I hope you all notice. Normally not seen anywhere in my repertoire of chat.

Tact comes from the same root as tactic. This is why I have never declared war on anything. If I was going to declare war on something though, it would be against Fishermen. They’d be useless in a land battle. All rolling gait and squints with big red faces. Anyway I forgot what the hell I was talking about, doesn’t matter.

KILL FISHERMEN!