How to be a Legend

6.00am wake up bolt upright.
6.00am look in mirror because it faces the bed.
6.00am …. ALLLL RIIIGHT.
6.00am lose self .. just.. staring.
7.00am run around the world, twice.
7.15am finish run, go for morning urination.
7.50am wash hands
7.51am Go to bedroom to grab towel for shower
8.31am .. Just.. So … Pretty
8.45am Snap out of it, go to shower and do showery business.. mmm.. tingly shower gel.

9.00am Fly to work, reassure civilians that I am neither a bird or a plane.

**Work time passes during which I solve all problems and do the work of a whole department**

1.00pm Obtain Rainbow Drops at lunch time for delicious sugary coloured goodness

**Work time passes during which I slack off the amount of a whole department and wish I was having a lil snoozy**

5.30pm Go to Gym
5.31pm Men all leave through being shamed so hard.
5.32pm I ask the women to leave as they are flooding the place
5.33pm Warm up by using all weights at once
5.43pm Look for more weights
5.45pm Give up looking for weights, tunnel underneath building like some kind of mole.
5.46pm Shoulder Press the building.
5.50pm Leg Muscles – Do jumps up to the Sun while holding truck across shoulders.
5.55pm Try to calm down irate truck driver.
5.56pm Explanation that he needs to man up not well received.
5.57pm Truck driver breaks hand on my jaw
5.58pm lulz.
6.00pm Have a Sammich
6.02pm … mmmm.. Sammich
6.03pm Go home
6.04pm Arrive home
6.05pm Will play xbox for 5 minutes
9.00pm Go online for 5 minutes
1.00am .. I better go to sleep.