How to be a Legend

O Great and Powerful Malk

I need to inquire into your legend philosophy.

Well I got dumped then replaced within 3 weeks lol & i really dono if i should just got f*ck it & treat all woman like there beneath me cause i started to give that one to much control near the end arghh lol should i just be myself again or change to be more alpha ?

Rg’s

N00bface

Yo N00bface,

well no you shouldn’t start treating all women badly based on her actions.

Legend philosophy says that you judge each person individually by their choices, your way it’s like saying because a black person stole your shoes, hate all black people.
However you should also learn by your mistakes and not get into the situation of letting someone get that much control; there are usually signs the relationship’s deteriorating

As for the changing the way you act, nah never change dude unless you’re not happy with yourself and acting distinctly unLegendary. Without specifics I don’t know the Legend Level. The fact you’re asking me shows distinct potential though.It can’t have been shit for 14 months, relationships do change the thing is to recognise when you’re not happy, decide if it can be fixed, if not, move on.

As for getting anyone new fast, no point in rebounding dude, don’t let her actions dictate yours.
You’re your own man.Just because she’s got someone new doesn’t mean you need to, also as standard protocol don’t be hanging about with her, chatting about or to her or checking her facebook etc. get her f*cking blocked everywhere too.
There’s no need to pretend to be friends.

Cheers

M

Your Legendness,

I’ve been seeing a guy for about a month now. We’re both out of longish relationships in the last 6 months or so.  We’ve been dating every so often and also chatting every night.  He gets a bit vague whenever I mention anything non friendy too much (sweet luvin’s type things) or where it’s going etc. We had kinda said see how it goes and be careful though due to the previous.  I’m just wondering how to move this forward or see where I stand?

The Cheerleader
(Rah Rah Rah!)

Hello Cheerleader and thank you for your excellent (and reasonably common) question.

While I appreciate that people have long relationships and this affects them from moving forward etc and makes them want to take it slow the fact is that there’s not really any good way to make emotions go slow. You can make choices to ry and override them (e.g. not having sex for example) but you can’t actually change the basic feelings. 

I’m assuming also that this guy isn’t doing the old “Trying to score while giving it the not ready but seeing other people” type move and that you know he’s not wh*ring it up. That being said the best thing to do is ask rather simply. Okay you’re seeing how it goes. It’s been every night for a month though, you’ve seen. Where has it went and where’s it going from here?. If it’s the case that you want it to go forward and he doesn’t then you need to just say your goodbyes until you are aligned otherwise you’re wasting your time and giving yourself heartache. Always be able to walk away and it helps you keep the right choices.

Yep you might not get the answer you want and that’s sad but it’s better than not knowing. You might get together and it messes up but that happens to. Always go for what you want, not what you think you can get and never settle for an unknown when there doesn’t need to be.  You can always pistolwhip him.

M

Hi Malk,
I’ve been with my boyfriend a few months now and he’s reasonably Legendary. My main problem is after we’ve made love he immediately gets up and leaves for the bathoom, then usually make some excuse and goes to the other room for a bit. He never stays to cuddle and one time pretty much went right into the shower.  Apart from this he’s a great guy but I’m not really sure how to take that.

Any words of wisdom?
Stacy

Hi Stacy,
This is not a terrifically uncommon thing, occurs very often in those who were raised strictly or with religious overtones.  Your boyfriend, like many non Legend men,  hates and fears women subconsciously or maybe quite openly I don’t know.  Either way as soon as he achieves climax, he has what is referred to as “a moment of clarity” and sees you as being dirty and not a good clean girl like his mum who would never ever have let someone do that to her.

The good news is that doesn’t last for most guys and that’s why he’s able to maintain a decent relationship the rest of the time. Unfortunately for you it means he doesn’t love you (yet?).  When they hang around to cuddle they either love you, are a Legend or they’ve read this column and so know how to act like a Legend to get whatever they want.  The guys  who get sex and then dump the girl immediatly are the ones who maintain that outlook all the time after they’ve done the deed.. They’re sort of hopeless cases, weak willed and insecure.  Legend behaviour needs severly drummed into them.

You need to go on the offensive regarding this, as soon as he’s done just say something like “that was good cheers, clean up before bed though eh” and either roll over or put your mp3 player on or something.  The idea is to say “that was adequate, and now we’re done with it”.   You’ll probably find the cuddling and sucking up on the increase as they feel dismissed so want attention.

They’re funny like that.

M